As anyone should in this situation, I begin to reflect on my life over the past few months.
Something has felt oddly askew. I've felt kinda nomadic. No goal. No where to go. Nothing on my mind. A Wanderer.
[Speaking of Wanderer, if you love girly fiction slash sci-fi books, you must read The Host by Stephenie Meyer, the author of Twilight. That's one of my yearly reads when the weather gets cold and I need to take my mind off of the snow.]
My mind feels like an empty box.
I've had too much free time. Too much me time. The sad thing is that I've been doing mind-numbing activities to pass the time. Wishing time away.
What?!? WHY WOULD I WASTE THIS PRECIOUS LIFE?
"Is this a good feeling?" I ask myself.
And I don't find an answer. This feeling is certainly not bad. It just different. Peaceful.
So what has changed in my life to bring me here? Immediately, I find an answer.
No more school.
The last six years I've been absorbed in learning anything and everything about oral health. Prior to that I spent a year engulfed in theology (and social networking) in the northwest. And prior to that I spent 17 very long years overachieving and being all that I could be.
[Sidenote: I loved highschool. If there was ever a time where I threw off all the chains and let myself be passionate, it was then. I know many people struggle through those years and I can't deny my struggles then either, but during those years I was given opportunities to learn, work hard, plan, create, and be. I took advantage of them. I learned that I am not happy in the koolest clique. I cannot be tied down to any one group, subject, or place. I am restless and I embrace change. And as dorky as I was (yep!), I have no regrets. Thank you, highschool.]
Boy have the tides changed.
Without school, I am lost. I have so much time on my hands and no specific goal in mind.
I think... I may... be....... boring.
[insert disgruntled face]
And this concerns me.
Although this blog was supposed to be short, to the point, and light... I am now at my first point... What the heck is my generation going to do when we finally get out of school? So much of our lives, our brainpower, our goals, are devoted to learning that when we are ripped out of that world, into normal reality, we lose direction. And because we don't have the next objective goal in mind, we lose function.
Never before has there been this much pressure on American students to learn and achieve. A 4.0 is not enough these days. American jobs are being outsourced and off-shored. We aren't only competing against fellow countrymen anymore. We are competing against the world. The flat world. The pressure is on. This change is not bad, just different. We need to adjust.
[BTW... I just finished reading Freakonomics by Steven Levitt and Stephen Dubner. I am currently in the middle of The World is Flat by Thomas Friedman. If you are even slightly interested in modern economics or anthropology (not the store), then these are for you.]
Of course, the answer to the current pressure is to keep learning. But that will only work if we never get jobs... but if we don't get jobs then how do we pay to keep learning?
At some point... 24? 30? 40? our formal education will have to come to a screeching halt and we will be forced to live in current reality... adulthood? What? Adulthood?? What's that?????
This concerns me.
How will we learn to be something that we haven't been our entire lives?
Who will teach us? Mom? Dad? Society? Peers?
Will we ever learn?
Or will we live in a passive, nomadic, lost state for the rest of our existence like I have found myself in these past few months?
I mean, what's the point to life if we are not embracing the fullness of who we were created to be??
Life is short, my fellow students. Life is short.
My sincere hope is that my generation DOES learn how to live life without school... to move on... to realize there is so much more to life than what ivy league (or what community college!!) you went to or what degree you have.
We need to learn how to just BE.
BE who we really are (if we know).
BE who we have been created to be.
My second, lighter point? So where does that leave me?
Since there is no formal education planned in my foreseeable future, I'll have to go about teaching myself how to live... a "re-training" of sorts.
Enter New Year's Resolutions!!
NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS!!
1. Write shorter blogs.
2. Write more frequent blogs.
3. Join a gym. [Just throwing that one if for laughs.]
4. Floss more. [Again, for laughs.]
5. Spend more time with friends.
6. Get a Mac.
7. Spend more time with family.
8. Stay warm.
9. Wash my car.
To start things off right, I have been making some changes around here... formatting, editing, graphics. Just small changes. I will be blogging more about my daily activities and will hopefully maintain some sort of humor, inspiration, and truth. I am sadly anticipating moving far away from my family and bffs in the near future (28 weeks to go!) and so the daily activity blogs will be for them... so they can keep up.
Well, the roast is done (I'll stick to the baked potato and salad), the boys are back from frisbee golf, the house is loud, and my eyes hurt from staring at a backlit screen. So I'm off.
We fly back to the east tomorrow (yes, Christmas). And then back to cleaning teeth on Monday.
PS- Did you know that Southwest Airlines gives complimentary alcohol to passengers on holidays? They are so strange.
Happy Birthday, Jesus.
. . .