Red pants were so 2010.
Its not that the red pant is completely out of style. In fact, it may still be trendy in some circles. It’s just that I don’t exactly know one way or the other.
Every single time I consider wearing them, my brain goes fuzzy and I stand there, in front of the mirror, wondering whether or not its okay to walk out the door or if I am entering that stage of adulthood where I proudly, unknowingly, wear items that date me.
Goodness knows I’ve had nightmares about getting a butterfly tattoo on my lower back. Or going out in public in my old overalls. Or getting 20 piercings in one ear.
Being fashionably dated is eventually inevitable. I know at some point I’ll need to pick a decade and stick with it. The only other option I see will be to share clothes with my (future) teenage daughter. But no one wishes that upon any woman.
I’m scared of getting old. Its not that 28 or 30 or 40 are bad numbers. Its just that those numbers are markers of time, representing a closer-ness to the end point.
No one wants to shop at a store called Forever 34.
I’m also just scared of being forced to wear mom-jeans when I‘m 35.
So, if this fuzzy indecision that is allowing me to wear red pants in 2012 happens to be the gateway to wearing mom-jeans, then I’m already screwed. I should give up.
If I am, in fact, in denial and red pants are no longer in style, would someone please guide me gently in the other direction? And would that someone also just go ahead and buy me a pair of mom-jeans while they're at it?
But for now, I think I can still swing the red pant.
Welcome to day nine of manly, oversized, cream blazer.
And now, the bloops.
[This sequence of events is what happens when
Andrew says "Show me all you got!"]
[Well, I certainly showed him.]
striped shirt// Marshalls
pants// Forever 21
Total cost for this look? under $75
May you forever be 21.