.: I Heart Portland: How To Unintentionally Attend the Emmy Awards

I received a text on Monday morning that went something like this: Umm were you at the Emmy's? My brother texted me last night saying he saw you on TV!

On a completely unrelated note, I received a text today from an unknown sender that went like this: Hey its shawna... I just wanted to say that IM sick and tired of u promising him s*** and never follow through that hurts him!!

My dear Shawna, whoever you are, do not be offended in the simple fact that I will not return your text. Also, good job standing up for someone [even though you think it is completely appropriate to do so with less than 150 characters and numerous grammatical errors.]

At least she didn't Tweet it.

But I digress. When I received the first text, I chalked it up to my generically common Caucasian facial features and thought to myself how swell it would be had I been fortunate enough to attend such a glamourous event.

But y'all both persisted and insisted that I did in fact attend the Emmy's. So I asked for proof. Here's what happened.

There we are. Front and center. You were right. I was wrong. I attended the Emmy's. Thanks for the reminder.

Click here for the video link. Fast forward to the 1:28:02 mark and you will see both Andrew and I having a grand ol' time.

Here's what happened: A few weeks ago Andrew and I attended a Fred Armisen concert/stand-up comedy/variety show [What does Fred Armisen really do exactly? He's just so good at being him.] We love the characters Armisen has played in Saturday Night Live and more recently in Portlandia. We had no clue what to expect from the night. What entailed was pure fun. We were front and center for Armisen's fake British rock band in which he plays the lead singer, Ian Rubbish. Then he made a few random jokes. Then he said a few things that wouldn't normally be funny if someone else said them but because he said them they were funny. Then he invited Leigh Nash (lead singer from Sixpence None The Richer, my FAVORITE 90s band) to lead us in singing some 90s rock songs. And THEN the Portlandia filming crew asked for some volunteers for the aforementioned Emmy clip.

...which we completely forgot about until that fateful text on Monday morning.

So there it is. Thanks for the texts, friends.

Be sure to let me know if I ever attend the Oscars.

I've included a few photos from the variety show for your satisfaction.

And once again, my dear Shawna, I wish you the best in your situation. I hope that you are able to clearly communicate what you so desperately are trying to communicate. If texting and Tweeting doesn't work, you can always try the USPS.