So originally I had envisioned the (a hope) section to include intimate details of what I think of all that is wrong in this earthly realm. You know the kind: oil spills in the gulf, child labor, healthcare, the social ladder, sexism, racism, communism, sex slave trade, and lima beans. Or I had thought it would include all that is right in the world. For instance: Chipotle, Ikea, fresh herbs, husbands who watch Twilight with you, the color green, and dumpster diving.
[PS. status update on Andrew: on his knees scrubbing the filthy toilet. He's so good to me.]
This first blog, however, will deviate a bit off course. To help you understand what is going on, \I will share with you a few of my recurring thoughts over the past month:
"Ohhh, what the heck did I eat today?"
"Why can't I button my pants anymore?"
"Man, that was such a workout."
[after going up two flights of stairs]
"Wow, I just spent a ton of money on new pants."
"Why don't my new pants fit anymore?"
If you don't understand what's going on, I'll give you a hint...I feel disgusting right now.
This usually happens to me in the winter when all I do is sit inside and eat. For some reason, I'm eating a ton right now. oh but I enjoy it so! And I think I usually only fluctuate about five pounds or so. But I think 3.5 of those pounds goes to my face and the rest decides to be BFFs with my naval.
[PS. another status update on Andrew: currently vacuuming the bathroom floor.
He must be waiting for me to get off the computer.]
So here are a few theories I am working on as to what my problem is lately:
1. I am lactose intolerant.
2. I need to do some form of exercise. yoga. stretching.
a n y t h i n g to make going up and down one flight of stairs less exasperating.
3. I should switch my Starbucks habit to something other than a milk-based drink.
4. I should buy elastic-waisted pants.
5. I should buy oversized clothes.
6. I should eat less cheese.
7. I should wear more sneakers so if i spontaneously feel like going for
a runwalkwalkwalkrun (to finish well of course), then I am instantly able.
So these are my New Year's resolutions for August 1st. I hope that I am not lactose intolerant. I hope that I begin exercising. I hope that elastic pants come back in style. I hope that I don't fluctuate any more than five pounds. I hope that Andrew decides to clean the entire apartment while I sit here and watch Twilight.
Speaking of August, Andrew and I have our have been married for two years (tomorrow). Holy cow. What's next? Kids graduating from highschool? Time flies.
Friends, let us
raise our glasses,
utilize elastic waists,
eat less cheese,
and be inspired to exercise.
Cheers to good health!
. . .